Thursday, August 12, 2010


 one of those not so happy posts...

So the other day I posted about my noisy neighbors making a fire at midnight.  Well, last night they were at it again.  Not a fire, but being LOUD.  I tried closing the windows, but it was too stuffy, and I kept thinking why should I have to suffocate while I'm trying to sleep when they are partying at 12:30am.

My dad went to talk to them, but no luck.  After tossing and turning, I went out in my pajamas to give a little lecture.  The thing to know about me (you might already) is that when I feel someone is doing something not right or unjust--that affects others, I will most likely say something about it (accountability, right)-- in a heart to heart way.  I don't yell, or put anyone down, act rudely, or have a hissy fit.  I will nicely explain and "teach", until I turn blue, until I think they understand (you, know spread the idea of kindness and being human and such)--which sometimes comes out as lecturing.  I know no one likes to be "lectured"-- but I just can't help myself.  There are some things I'd like people to understand.

So I marched over to the fence...said "excuse me!"...and went at it with explaining about how I'm not trying to ruin their fun.  really. I've never bother them on weekends when they party until dawn--it's a weekend-it's fun...I just want them to understand that this is a family neighborhood.  it's a week night, and some people have to work and get up early in the morning. some people have children who are trying to sleep. " I'm just speaking human to human...can you understand that from your heart?" and "can I speak to the guy who lives here please"...etc, etc...until the guests of the "neighbor" said "Okay...I understand.  we're leaving now."

they would not give info, or let us speak to "the guy who lives there..."

the guests were nice.  one of them apologized profusely in hawaiian--"kala mai" and in english...however the guy who "rents" there -- I think he does...he's always hanging around. oh my goodness.  he made my blood boil.  I said "we have to work and make a living it's hard when you can't sleep."  he says, "yeah don't we all...why don't you go back in the house and go to sleep!"

oh no he didn't. really? you're seriously saying that to me?  I almost lost it.  I could feel myself getting very angry.  I went from a perfectly nice, calm "heart to heart" lecture to..."who just said that!!? I want to know who said that!!!.." oh boy. my little 5 foot self almost jumped over that fence when he said to me "you want to call the it...YOU'RE the ones causing problems and making noise right now."   the other guy-- the hawaiian one kept telling him..."nah, no make li' make, sorry auntie" he kept apologizing for him.

anyway my mom came outside..."Joanne, get inside...just come inside..."  I get in the house and there's marc..."umm can you tell me next time you decide to do that??"  he heard me outside our window. and that was that.  I calmed down -- reminded myself to be mindful. and we spent some time discussing what we should do about it and whether we were in any danger from this guy.  and that yes, it wasn't the smartest thing to confront the guy by myself.  and how can I find a way to create something positive out of this.

so what do we do. anyone have any ideas??  or know about the laws on these kinds of things?? we've tried working with our town association for YEARS.  we've never called the cops on them, but other neighbors have and all the cops can do is tell them to keep it down"  then guys move out...and another set of LOUD people move in and it's the same cycle over and people all the time. all noisy! There have even been fights between "renters" and a couple of stabbings even-- you can see them clearly from our bedroom window upstairs.  it's a bit scary.  we've lost a lot of sleep because of them. and it wouldn't be as bad if they were in the house in enclosed walls...but they live outside--just over our fence.  (in hawaii we have small properties, and homes are close together.)

we've lived with it for years, and I'm really starting to think it's about time to try and do something about it, like REALLY do the right way. not be mean and to bum their trip and be one of those grouchy neighbors... but because it's just not right. it's not too cool of them.  but I'm at a loss...

any suggestions would be GREAT!


Jess Takishita said...

Oh my gosh Joanne... I would have never imagined YOU would go over there and "lecture" anyone! I think it's ok for you to be upset! It's warranted... I would have reacted the same way... probably more violently tho hahaha. He's lucky that you didn't break out a can of whoop @$$! My initial reaction would have been that he's a selfish, stupid, inconsiderate jerk but then I'd think... How sad that he's like that, obviously he wasn't brought up right and must have had a crappy childhood with either crappy or absent parents. Then I'd actually feel sorry for him and be grateful that I have such wonderful parents :-) He's not worth wasting your time on... just take a deep breath, look at Emjay and Marc and SMILE! Hope you're feeling better!


jo_annie said...


I know, right! I like to think I'm pretty tolerant of people and easy going... but once in awhile certain personality types get to me and I have to do some self-talk...and deep breathing. and work hard to find compassion. ha! thanks!